Posts (page 2)
somehow i don't think it is really this cute... (i'm having both sides done, obviously)
especially when:
a) the author ended up dying from cancer
b) the memoir has a pink ribbon on the cover or includes words from reviewers like "inspiring" or "courageous"
or
c) the "hook" is the young, irreverent, 20- or 30-something sassy breast cancer patient who wore lipstick to her mastectomy or invented the "save the boobies" tshirt line....
that being said, i would normally hate this new book, but i secretly really want to read it:
i realize it does not meet any of the aforementioned reasons for loathing cancer memoirs, but it just seems somehow hypocritical of me to be drawn to the whole concept here.
the really sad part is that i found out about this book from reading people magazine.
"lifestyle choices"? implication: attention ladies with brca1 mutations, hurry up and get pregnant. now. it will save your life.
http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/news/archive/newsarchive/2008/june/18618131
look, i can understand that there is probably some valid medical/scientific/hormonal reason for noting the correlation between pregnancy and cancer. but this shit has got to stop.
don't refer to the decision to not have children (or breastfeed) as though it were akin to drinking a 6-pack every day or eating twinkies for every meal. it doesn't help anyone to refer to it that way. don't you realize, that for many women who don't have children and have a brca1 mutation, whether or not to become pregnant or not can be a heartwrenching choice? (for those of you who haven't clued in -- it's this upbeat inner-dialogue: "maybe i shouldn't have kids because i could die young of cancer and leave them motherless...")
when you make us brca1 bitches feel as though motherhood is some kind of adjustable risk factor over which we have total control, you're just being an asshole. stop it. yes, at some level we're talking semantics, but clean your language up. explain the correlation between pregnancy and cancer without the bullshit judgmental tone.
these are just from today:
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no, it can't.
and fuck you (press and popular culture) for suggesting that such a question is even worthy of asking. seriously? so when ted kennedy dies (as expected) within the next couple of years, will your headlines be
"oh, as it turns out, ted kennedy is a big pussy..."?
i realize that optimism is firmly imbedded in some people's brains as a way to cope with traumatic life events, but cancer doesn't give a fuck about your positive attitude. really. it's a cell-divison thing gone awry that has absolutely zero connection to one's outlook or tenacity. lots of really brave, amazing people die every single minute of cancer. why is that so hard to understand?
there is also the question of prayer. a lot of people told me that they were praying for me during my cancer treatment. that's a very nice sentiment, and i really appreciate people thinking kind thoughts. no one wants people to think "oh, that bitch has cancer? hope she dies a long horrible death."
but -- it's sorta awkward when you're an atheist and have absolutely no patience or appreciation for the delusional beliefs about an invisible man in the sky encouraging the chemo to work. if i do die of cancer, then i wonder if all the people who prayed for me will question their faith -- "oh, i didn't pray hard enough." that makes me feel bad.
of course, when this has played out in front of me with other people, i hear the "well, it must have been god's will.." (regarding the long horrible painful death...) if that's the case, WHY DID YOU EXPEND THE ENERGY TO PRAY AT ALL? i will never understand theism.
as per usual, the onion provides much better analysis of this phenomena than i can:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29585
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/624032499.html
A public service announcement: Please stop asking me if I'm pregnant.
I'm not.
I know that I seem to be more of child bearing age than cancer producing age, and I know that my newly flat chest due to a recent double mastectomy makes my belly protrude and makes me look preggers.
I'm not.
I know also that, despite eating healthfully and exercising a ton, the roids and the hormone therapy I've had the pleasure to experience are to thank for the nice round tummy growing before my eyes. Hell, even I tend to think I look pregnant.
But I'm not.
Yes, I realize too that I tend to wear a lot of empire waist and babydoll dresses these days, further adding to the "pregnant look". but frankly, since most of my pants hide in fear when I approach them in the closet, these dresses are a much better option.
I'm flattered that maybe you think I'm "glowing". I guess 25 rounds of radiation will do that.
But please, PLEASE, unless you see my water breaking, don't ask me "Is it a boy or a girl?". Um, it's tamoxifen, thanks for asking.
I don't want to have to blurt out the truth any more than you want to hear it. But frankly, I'm tired of trying to make you feel better about your dumb mistake. Now, I just answer, "NOPE. It's cancer. Bellies look bigger when you've had your breasts removed." Sorry. I know you're probably driving home feeling stupid. Good.
And of course, the irony that you'll never know, is that I probably won't EVER be pregnant, thanks to all this lovely crap.
Don't you know that you never, unless you're absolutely sure, ask a woman if she's pregnant? You just don't. Ok, maybe if she's got her legs up in the air, is panting like a race horse, and someone with a surgical mask is yelling "PUSH" at her. But even then, you should really be sure before you ask.
And for god's sake, please, please PLEASE don't pat my belly. It's just fat and it's really embarassing when you do that.
So unless you literally see a baby's head poking out of my vagina, please stop asking me if I'm pregnant.
I kicked cancer's ass. I can certainly kick yours.
Thanks.
PS - To be fair, I should mention that I am somewhat flattered that people think I might actually be having sex.
i wish the authorities took ALL cases of child sexual abuse so seriously.
also
at the risk of sounding insensitive, am i the only one curious as to how the women get their hair to look so poofy?
